Tuesday, February 12, 2008
The Semester Heats Up
I'm not doing so good lately. I'm stressed from school, lonely as hell, and now sick (just a cold but it heightens the bad emotional state). How can you be super busy and super lonely at the same time? And with the lack of close friends, the kind that just show up at your house or call you last minute with something to do, and squeeze out some of those lonely moments before you go to bed, I live somewhere in no man's land. I guess it's also not feeling a part of any group per say, feeling on the outside, feeling the distance between me and others. Everyone is scattered that I do know well. I'm getting over a distasterous attempt at dating a non emotionally safe person which was to distract myself from the loneliness. Boy, big surprise that didn't work. I'm angry at myself, I'm angry at him for being so dark and twisty, and closed and a total dead-end that won't get me what I really want. I'm just in a stew of bitterness at the moment. Bah!
I'm not doing so good lately. I'm stressed from school, lonely as hell, and now sick (just a cold but it heightens the bad emotional state). How can you be super busy and super lonely at the same time? And with the lack of close friends, the kind that just show up at your house or call you last minute with something to do, and squeeze out some of those lonely moments before you go to bed, I live somewhere in no man's land. I guess it's also not feeling a part of any group per say, feeling on the outside, feeling the distance between me and others. Everyone is scattered that I do know well. I'm getting over a distasterous attempt at dating a non emotionally safe person which was to distract myself from the loneliness. Boy, big surprise that didn't work. I'm angry at myself, I'm angry at him for being so dark and twisty, and closed and a total dead-end that won't get me what I really want. I'm just in a stew of bitterness at the moment. Bah!